2 weeks ago. I was standing up the Old Ruins Chimney, dressed up as santa and sweating myself out in the heavy outfit. The view was beautiful. Below the kids were having their party, unaware of me on top. the program was late. The kids over excited and the staff over worked!
I still had 10 min to kill and was looking around, takin in the view. That's when I saw them. 5 little kids peeping in from over the high walls, dressed in rags and envious of all the goodies being served to the kids on my side of the wall.
I wondered where they came from and quickly saw the squatters houses behind the walls, hidden into the trees. Sheeted iron from oil drums, sticks and nails ingeneously patched up to give shelter temporarily - a very long temporary it seemed.
My eyes caught one of the smallest of them. He looked at me and got a shock: Santa on the roof! The others saw him and folled his gaze and got into their own shock! I could see one of them gulp. I waved. they waved.
One of the security guys saw me wave and wondered who I was waving for. He saw them. Rushed to them and shooed them off. They did not pay to see santa. He looked at me and I could read his mind: Do what you are paid for and do it for those who paid you!
The little one looked at me. How could santa come down only for those behind the wall. Why did they never see santa? Why were the gifts always to someone else?
Monday, December 25, 2006
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Story of a man
The story of a man
on the morning of a war,
Will you wait for me,
be she never knew how,
Will you wait for me,
but she never knew why,
And all the battles won,
now lost without a cause,
and all the battles won,
kill him more in every way,
Now that today he walks still.
The sorry of the man
on the morning of his war
The sorry of a man
on the mourning of his star
will you wait for me
but she she never knew when
Will you wait for me
but she never knew, then
that a lie could tear through flesh
more than burning lead.
And all the scars that he took
kill him more everyday
and all the deaths that he saw
Keeps him in all the trenches
that he never left.
burried under the corpse
of those he never killed.
Will you come to talk to me
but she never made it
Will you come to talk to me
lost in his trenches,
she turned cold then away
so that he is now left on his battlefield
on the morning of his war
on the mourning of his scars...
But was it all a game
played in the hands of unaware pawns
was it all part of the same eternal cycle
that turn trees to stones
stones to deserts
and deserts to crowds?
The story of a man
on the mourning of his war
fought with will of an eagle
killed with a dart
of his own making.
Was it all a lie
told by knaves
twisted by fools?
Was it all a game, insane?
made by the folly of the flow?
The story of a man
on the morning of his life.
The story of his life.
on the morning of a war,
Will you wait for me,
be she never knew how,
Will you wait for me,
but she never knew why,
And all the battles won,
now lost without a cause,
and all the battles won,
kill him more in every way,
Now that today he walks still.
The sorry of the man
on the morning of his war
The sorry of a man
on the mourning of his star
will you wait for me
but she she never knew when
Will you wait for me
but she never knew, then
that a lie could tear through flesh
more than burning lead.
And all the scars that he took
kill him more everyday
and all the deaths that he saw
Keeps him in all the trenches
that he never left.
burried under the corpse
of those he never killed.
Will you come to talk to me
but she never made it
Will you come to talk to me
lost in his trenches,
she turned cold then away
so that he is now left on his battlefield
on the morning of his war
on the mourning of his scars...
But was it all a game
played in the hands of unaware pawns
was it all part of the same eternal cycle
that turn trees to stones
stones to deserts
and deserts to crowds?
The story of a man
on the mourning of his war
fought with will of an eagle
killed with a dart
of his own making.
Was it all a lie
told by knaves
twisted by fools?
Was it all a game, insane?
made by the folly of the flow?
The story of a man
on the morning of his life.
The story of his life.
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Maybe
Maybe they sold me dreams not made for my mind
maybe it never was meant to be
maybe it was for tomorrow
and i was not ready for the blast.
maybe the son of a gun never died
and maybe the lies I sold can be bought back somehow
maybe the spells they cast can be reversed
maybe the swells I breed can be cured
and maybe the burns I've caused can be lured
Maybe its a way for a better tommorow
and maybe someone will show me, one day, one way to tread upon.
I've been sitting at the crossroads for years now
looking at them all
come and take off
and drop a coin in my can
eager beggar that i am.
rattle can stinker, blinker...
Blind and deaf
maybe it never was meant to be
maybe it was for tomorrow
and i was not ready for the blast.
maybe the son of a gun never died
and maybe the lies I sold can be bought back somehow
maybe the spells they cast can be reversed
maybe the swells I breed can be cured
and maybe the burns I've caused can be lured
Maybe its a way for a better tommorow
and maybe someone will show me, one day, one way to tread upon.
I've been sitting at the crossroads for years now
looking at them all
come and take off
and drop a coin in my can
eager beggar that i am.
rattle can stinker, blinker...
Blind and deaf
Sunday, July 16, 2006
Once upon a time...
There was once a time
when we walked the dunes
hand in hand,
heart to heart
never fearing
always daring
There was a time
when I lived
not through my breath
but through your heart
and your quiet whispers
and unhindred smiles
There once was time
when I feared no tomorrow
and felt no sorrow
my heart was light
and my soul yours ever to keep
like a little stone that travelled with me
many a miles to become part of me.
There once was a time
when I felt strong and good
and everday rose to a new shining
even though the curepipe sky was grey clouded
mine was ever as beautiful
as you are to me.
But show that I cared
I never could
for I never learnt how
and I slowly watched
your smiles turn to tears
and your tears to tatters
scars to my heart.
Ever to be broken
Now that you are no longer here
I am but a shadow to the one I used to be.
and everyday rises to see me grey minded.
Where are you
now that I need you
where are you
now that I am bleeding
my heart to numbness
and crying
my eyes to blindness
The strength that I drew
came from the smiles you threw
The passion that I share to the world
came from the whispers you sent my way.
where are you
now that I am dying
everyday a little more
in every way
the further you move
the weaker I am.
when we walked the dunes
hand in hand,
heart to heart
never fearing
always daring
There was a time
when I lived
not through my breath
but through your heart
and your quiet whispers
and unhindred smiles
There once was time
when I feared no tomorrow
and felt no sorrow
my heart was light
and my soul yours ever to keep
like a little stone that travelled with me
many a miles to become part of me.
There once was a time
when I felt strong and good
and everday rose to a new shining
even though the curepipe sky was grey clouded
mine was ever as beautiful
as you are to me.
But show that I cared
I never could
for I never learnt how
and I slowly watched
your smiles turn to tears
and your tears to tatters
scars to my heart.
Ever to be broken
Now that you are no longer here
I am but a shadow to the one I used to be.
and everyday rises to see me grey minded.
Where are you
now that I need you
where are you
now that I am bleeding
my heart to numbness
and crying
my eyes to blindness
The strength that I drew
came from the smiles you threw
The passion that I share to the world
came from the whispers you sent my way.
where are you
now that I am dying
everyday a little more
in every way
the further you move
the weaker I am.
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
What is it?
inspired by Ni
http://coinperdu.blogspot.com/2006/05/all-koz-of-ya.html
What is that you cannot see?
What is it that you dare not see?
What is that you bear?
And that you dare not share?
What is it?
That hath been lain upon you
That has painted a veil upon your eyes?
What is it that sums your life?
But fails to count and counter
Even the slightest of your intentions?
What is it that shines from deep within?
But that you never let out?
What is that pain that you claim
you cannot forget
yet want to find the will to forgive?
What is it
that keeps you running day in and day out
that keeps driving you
against that invisible wall
that you have built for yourself
over and again
until you cannot stand up anymore?
What is it
that makes you want to fly
but that grounds your every dream
every time you muster the might to do so?
What is it that makes you fall
every time you want to stand to?
What is it
but the darker side of your own mind
set free against the fury of your own will?
what is it but your own fear of yourself
set ablaze by the pain of your past?
what is it but your own phobia of loneliness
that haunts you day in and day out?
What it is
that will set you free
but the same
that chains you
to your memories of your past?
What is it
that gives you the energy
to shine and radiate against all odds
but your own beauty?
Who is it
that has the will and power
to change the path of your life
but yourself?
Many a times the answers we seek
we may never find
for the questions we ask
aren’t the right ones!
Yet there is so much to yourself
that you are casting away
Because you cannot muster the guts
To open your eyes and see yourself
As who you are
Rather than who you would like to be!
http://coinperdu.blogspot.com/2006/05/all-koz-of-ya.html
What is that you cannot see?
What is it that you dare not see?
What is that you bear?
And that you dare not share?
What is it?
That hath been lain upon you
That has painted a veil upon your eyes?
What is it that sums your life?
But fails to count and counter
Even the slightest of your intentions?
What is it that shines from deep within?
But that you never let out?
What is that pain that you claim
you cannot forget
yet want to find the will to forgive?
What is it
that keeps you running day in and day out
that keeps driving you
against that invisible wall
that you have built for yourself
over and again
until you cannot stand up anymore?
What is it
that makes you want to fly
but that grounds your every dream
every time you muster the might to do so?
What is it that makes you fall
every time you want to stand to?
What is it
but the darker side of your own mind
set free against the fury of your own will?
what is it but your own fear of yourself
set ablaze by the pain of your past?
what is it but your own phobia of loneliness
that haunts you day in and day out?
What it is
that will set you free
but the same
that chains you
to your memories of your past?
What is it
that gives you the energy
to shine and radiate against all odds
but your own beauty?
Who is it
that has the will and power
to change the path of your life
but yourself?
Many a times the answers we seek
we may never find
for the questions we ask
aren’t the right ones!
Yet there is so much to yourself
that you are casting away
Because you cannot muster the guts
To open your eyes and see yourself
As who you are
Rather than who you would like to be!
To Junean
Never forgiven, but forgotten
If I lay besides you, and told you
Would you listen to my words?
Would you learn to drop your shield
And feel the feelings?
Your feelings?
Those that have been kept inside
So that you wouldn’t see ‘em.
If I lay besides you, and whispered to your ears
Would you let me in
Unlock the doors with no conditions?
And let the whispers
Find a way to your heart?
The words you say
You want to hear
Are those that will drown you
And make you weep dry
Tears of dust that will scorch you face
And burn your trust in no one.
Yet you say you want to hear
Those same.
But your heart is locked
As the doors you have built around yourself.
And inside lay the demons you want to see run.
Now that I lay beside you
Under the wicked sky
I am blinded by the light
That you cannot see
That you cannot see.
Oh little girl unveil your eyes
And see for yourself.
The world is beautiful
If you are willing to open youself to it all
Oh little girl unveil your eyes
And see for yourself
That you are beautiful
If you are willing to see yourself as you are
Oh little girl unveil you eyes
And see for yourself
That you are not alone
If only you are willing to look around you…
Oh little girl unveil your little heart
And see for yourself
That you are not unforgiven
If only you are willing to let yourself be forgiven…
If I lay besides you, and told you
Would you listen to my words?
Would you learn to drop your shield
And feel the feelings?
Your feelings?
Those that have been kept inside
So that you wouldn’t see ‘em.
If I lay besides you, and whispered to your ears
Would you let me in
Unlock the doors with no conditions?
And let the whispers
Find a way to your heart?
The words you say
You want to hear
Are those that will drown you
And make you weep dry
Tears of dust that will scorch you face
And burn your trust in no one.
Yet you say you want to hear
Those same.
But your heart is locked
As the doors you have built around yourself.
And inside lay the demons you want to see run.
Now that I lay beside you
Under the wicked sky
I am blinded by the light
That you cannot see
That you cannot see.
Oh little girl unveil your eyes
And see for yourself.
The world is beautiful
If you are willing to open youself to it all
Oh little girl unveil your eyes
And see for yourself
That you are beautiful
If you are willing to see yourself as you are
Oh little girl unveil you eyes
And see for yourself
That you are not alone
If only you are willing to look around you…
Oh little girl unveil your little heart
And see for yourself
That you are not unforgiven
If only you are willing to let yourself be forgiven…
Monday, May 29, 2006
Being lost - reply to junean
in reply to http://junean.blogspot.com/2006/05/crossroad.html
Few years ago in a not so distant past, as I lay there staring at my map feeling sorry for myself, cold, hungry and miserable, I had had to admit, against my ego, that we were lost.We had no clue of where we were but we were there, wherever that was. How could we have strayed for so long? There were no rescues, no one to worry about us. Our map told us a story that none of us had cared to listen to, and now our hearts were pounding beats that none of us cared to ignore. Many a thing happened to us in the middle of that expedition but I learnt many a great lesson that I would never have dreamt of had we not strayed:
Being lost is the most beautiful thing that can happen to us. Life is an adventure and we need to take risks if we want to grow. We need to to step out of our comfort zone, stray beyond our minds...
Unfortunately we are taught always to move towards things that are acceptable, things we might not really believe in. We ride in cars that are meant to stay only on the set roads. Roads set by others. We walk streets that are always well lit so we do not get used to the the dark. And yet the moment we step out of the road, the moment one of their bulbs go off, we are scared because we face the unknown, because we have not been prepared to face that what we know not.
Yet, being lost is the first step towards finding ourselves again, under a new light. Being lost is the beginning of an adventure, the adventure of life. Being in the dark is the first step towards finding light. Straying open our eyes upon a world hidden behind our preconceived senses.
Don’t be scared of the unknown. Don't be scared of being lost. Cherish the moment, the journey, look for it and play with it. Your heart will only grow stronger and your will, more resilent.
Be curious little girl,for the crossroads you face gives choices you cannot fail to see. And now that you are standing in middle of it all, staring at the map that used to be your life, take a chance and go there where you should not, there where you've never dreamt.
People feel lost because they always want to go 'back' to where they were, they want to find the road to the past or to what they know. But if you are not looking towards the road, rather taking every new step as one that leds somewhere, anywhere, then how can you be lost? You are lost only if want to reach some place in time. most people want to reach somewhere bt they don't know where. Travelers lose their way for they always want to go back home. Strayers and adventurers and wanderers are never lost, home is where they stand and the moment is always NOW.
Remember that once you step off the path traced by others there is no going back. If there is one thing that you cannot catch back, its time. Stop looking for your way back it does not exist anymore. Look forward. Look around. Take each breath as a new one and face your fears of the unknown, for everything is unknown only once.
I wish thee
movement in a world of flow
passion, in a world so slow
altitude, when your world goes low
so you rise
above the crows
above the crowd...
Attitude, so you know
how to be, simply you
and how and what to fight.
Carpe Diem, memento mori.
Few years ago in a not so distant past, as I lay there staring at my map feeling sorry for myself, cold, hungry and miserable, I had had to admit, against my ego, that we were lost.We had no clue of where we were but we were there, wherever that was. How could we have strayed for so long? There were no rescues, no one to worry about us. Our map told us a story that none of us had cared to listen to, and now our hearts were pounding beats that none of us cared to ignore. Many a thing happened to us in the middle of that expedition but I learnt many a great lesson that I would never have dreamt of had we not strayed:
Being lost is the most beautiful thing that can happen to us. Life is an adventure and we need to take risks if we want to grow. We need to to step out of our comfort zone, stray beyond our minds...
Unfortunately we are taught always to move towards things that are acceptable, things we might not really believe in. We ride in cars that are meant to stay only on the set roads. Roads set by others. We walk streets that are always well lit so we do not get used to the the dark. And yet the moment we step out of the road, the moment one of their bulbs go off, we are scared because we face the unknown, because we have not been prepared to face that what we know not.
Yet, being lost is the first step towards finding ourselves again, under a new light. Being lost is the beginning of an adventure, the adventure of life. Being in the dark is the first step towards finding light. Straying open our eyes upon a world hidden behind our preconceived senses.
Don’t be scared of the unknown. Don't be scared of being lost. Cherish the moment, the journey, look for it and play with it. Your heart will only grow stronger and your will, more resilent.
Be curious little girl,for the crossroads you face gives choices you cannot fail to see. And now that you are standing in middle of it all, staring at the map that used to be your life, take a chance and go there where you should not, there where you've never dreamt.
People feel lost because they always want to go 'back' to where they were, they want to find the road to the past or to what they know. But if you are not looking towards the road, rather taking every new step as one that leds somewhere, anywhere, then how can you be lost? You are lost only if want to reach some place in time. most people want to reach somewhere bt they don't know where. Travelers lose their way for they always want to go back home. Strayers and adventurers and wanderers are never lost, home is where they stand and the moment is always NOW.
Remember that once you step off the path traced by others there is no going back. If there is one thing that you cannot catch back, its time. Stop looking for your way back it does not exist anymore. Look forward. Look around. Take each breath as a new one and face your fears of the unknown, for everything is unknown only once.
I wish thee
movement in a world of flow
passion, in a world so slow
altitude, when your world goes low
so you rise
above the crows
above the crowd...
Attitude, so you know
how to be, simply you
and how and what to fight.
Carpe Diem, memento mori.
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Lost and never found
http://coinperdu.blogspot.com, in reply to
And yet,
The very hands we held unto
Has turned to ashes under my very eyes
The same gaze that we used to share
Has turned cold in my withering nights
And our dreams of having kids
Have made of me a kid with no dreams.
Our dreams of settling down
Has made of me an endless wanderer
With no destination, hesitation, only incantations
For the only soul that ever mattered to me eyes.
Our flight on the fluffy cloud has left me
Featherless in a world of stone,
Fearless, in a world of scorches
Senseless, in a world of prose,
But the thorn of the very rose
I have felt deep under my skin
And the dart that I carry
Is mine to ever to keep
But yet
As every single moment passes us by
We look to the past
To these endless seconds we've missed.
Minute reasons that taught us to fly.
And we think aloud to ourselves
That it was all worth breathing in,
That the beating we took
was worth every blow of the fight,
And the songs we sang
Had every word’s worth of gold.
So now that we are grounded
Sole glued to the dirt
Soul glued to the hurt
The same reasons that made us see another day
Are the ones taking us down in every other way…
How do we get out of the loop?
And yet,
The very hands we held unto
Has turned to ashes under my very eyes
The same gaze that we used to share
Has turned cold in my withering nights
And our dreams of having kids
Have made of me a kid with no dreams.
Our dreams of settling down
Has made of me an endless wanderer
With no destination, hesitation, only incantations
For the only soul that ever mattered to me eyes.
Our flight on the fluffy cloud has left me
Featherless in a world of stone,
Fearless, in a world of scorches
Senseless, in a world of prose,
But the thorn of the very rose
I have felt deep under my skin
And the dart that I carry
Is mine to ever to keep
But yet
As every single moment passes us by
We look to the past
To these endless seconds we've missed.
Minute reasons that taught us to fly.
And we think aloud to ourselves
That it was all worth breathing in,
That the beating we took
was worth every blow of the fight,
And the songs we sang
Had every word’s worth of gold.
So now that we are grounded
Sole glued to the dirt
Soul glued to the hurt
The same reasons that made us see another day
Are the ones taking us down in every other way…
How do we get out of the loop?
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
1008052242cpe
The day has come to its end
the night is cold
outside I hear the winds hurling ...
...
And so, here I come
To the end of the yet another journey
I've taken steps in and out
on either side so many a time
that I know the way to the crossings
like the lines on my hand,
forged by the fist
forced to hang on to nought
So now, when I leave
let them not grieve
but in these words believe
There was no beginning nor end
just the eternal flow
that carried me to this place
I've whispered prayers into the winds
one name to the skies,
that into my night,
light should have been.
I've breathed your name
and heard the echoes fade into my soul
I've wished for another way, another day
But all I got back
Was another slack.
I've given in all,
even that what was not mine
believed in the lies, and twisted tales
of the fairy days that should have been mine.
I've walked into the maze, haze
Blinded by by your gaze
Taken oath, body and mind, heart and soul
But it was not the right day
Nor the right time
not the right life
Backstab, backstep
the current flows back
always to the source
tinder cinder
ashes we were, so let me be
Tweak to the peak,
Twitch to the tale
hitch to flow
I've hit the pavement, amen
so so the story ends
of the one who left no friends.
the night is cold
outside I hear the winds hurling ...
...
And so, here I come
To the end of the yet another journey
I've taken steps in and out
on either side so many a time
that I know the way to the crossings
like the lines on my hand,
forged by the fist
forced to hang on to nought
So now, when I leave
let them not grieve
but in these words believe
There was no beginning nor end
just the eternal flow
that carried me to this place
I've whispered prayers into the winds
one name to the skies,
that into my night,
light should have been.
I've breathed your name
and heard the echoes fade into my soul
I've wished for another way, another day
But all I got back
Was another slack.
I've given in all,
even that what was not mine
believed in the lies, and twisted tales
of the fairy days that should have been mine.
I've walked into the maze, haze
Blinded by by your gaze
Taken oath, body and mind, heart and soul
But it was not the right day
Nor the right time
not the right life
Backstab, backstep
the current flows back
always to the source
tinder cinder
ashes we were, so let me be
Tweak to the peak,
Twitch to the tale
hitch to flow
I've hit the pavement, amen
so so the story ends
of the one who left no friends.
last breath
2211052329
Flashing lights everywhere
people staring, shadows floating
never has the sky been so clear
never has the stale air
been so dear
The last breaths are the best
the last thoughts remain forever
and the last sight die with the beholder
I've seen them go,
stayed with 'em till the end
for nothing I could do would make a difference
and suddely all the wailings and sirens
die in the chill air
and me trying desperately to give a breath,
bitter kiss of life failed me once again.
Never has the cliff been so cruel
never has gravity been so unfair
Gravity kills.
Flashing lights everywhere
people staring, shadows floating
never has the sky been so clear
never has the stale air
been so dear
The last breaths are the best
the last thoughts remain forever
and the last sight die with the beholder
I've seen them go,
stayed with 'em till the end
for nothing I could do would make a difference
and suddely all the wailings and sirens
die in the chill air
and me trying desperately to give a breath,
bitter kiss of life failed me once again.
Never has the cliff been so cruel
never has gravity been so unfair
Gravity kills.
Monday, March 13, 2006
leavin
In reply to June-an : http://junean.blogspot.com , trust no one, almost here... 25feb06
Yet I have always been here
Hidden
All in prose,
Behind your rhymes
Left behind in your shadows
Made by your very light
Yet I thought
I were your light
Ever so light
Never as bright
As you would have wished
And now that you are bleeding
All my colors have faded
And mine is a world
In black and white.
So tonight will never be right
Ever, will never be the beginning
Of an ever ending story
Then when you say you need me,
you heed me,
And the closer I get,
The further I am...
And then it’s almost like
I 've never been
Ever so close
always almost there ...
But you never see me
For a light never sees a shadow
And even before I was gone
I was a but a shadow to your light.
It wasn't right
So the road for me tonight
Is mine for the taking,
and the wish of you,
mine for the making.
Change the world you have
For mine is ever changed.
Levied from the insight,
Heavied from the inside.
and nothing ever is the same
for the sting is under my skin.
But now I must go,
Away, with yet another flow
For the road tonight
Is mine to take
The road tonight, is mine to take...
Do you know me
When the choices I make
And the roads I take
Are the ones less traveled,
Harrowing and ever winding, blinding
Never binding,
Impossible to see
With no reasons ever made possible
Do you know me
when the seas I sail
Quail me beyond my fears
and the rough waters drown me
a little more everyday
in every way.
I know you loved me,
More than I could ever have given back
So I got taken aback
Like a whip made slack
For the closer I got
Never was close enough
So the further away I moved.
I ran as fast as I should
But understand you never would
That catch up I never could.
The closer I got, the further I were.
So that road I stepped unto
It takes me else where I can't undo
The doings of my wrongs
The effects to my cause
And come back I never can
For the bridges we built
We have cut on either end.
So tonight, my heart is tight
For the road is mine to take.
And tomorrow I shall wake
Ever to find you were right.
And from today,
every other morning I shall live see,
will be one of regrets.
But now that I am gone,
the light that shone
ever so bright
In your eyes shall rekindle
And set ablaze
The fury of your mind
For I was
But a shadow in your light.
But a feather to your sight.
Monday, March 06, 2006
about madness
...to any coin there is a flipping side,
Hidden and left to be discovered.
And before you go tossing your life around
Here, hear my words…
The flipped side of the coin
It is also madness …
to keep fighting a tide
when all about you has left the waters
and run to the high grounds
to see the very tide you are fighting
Suck you out from where you should be going
madness, to believe in friends who have backstabbed you
So many a times that you are left counting the holes in your heart
and yet welcome them
when they come smiling back to you
with a gun in their hands
cocked and ready to drop lead through same holes
made by the steel of their blunt blades
madness to keep pushing through thorn bushes
to find your rose, all white and pure
awaiting your rise
and the moment you reach for the promised
to see it taken away by the same foes
than once were to be your friends
with the same blunt blades that cut
through the hopes that you were breeding.
Madness to see it all without ever having the wits or guts to react
Madness to keep your smile and sanity and put up against the world
When inside you have burnt yourself with sorrow
And died a thousand times over
And never risen to any skies promised.
Madness to keep your prayers and faith open to the word
when all about you is killing and soiling
for the name same Father and Creator we are both living for.
MADNESS to keep your efforts strained, unstained
For the same purpose
And see it all taken down
By the hands of the same
For whom you would have fought and dwelved and given up your life…
Madness to keep your love for that one and same rose
Whose thorns have cut through and torn you to tatters many a times
Wrecked and wrenched every single breath you have taken
Ever since the first day you laid eyes upon her,
And known that thorns were yours for the keeping
And the rose theirs for the reaping…
It is madness to keep fighting, smiling
When all about you are running for shelter
Madness to face the raging torrents
When all about you are digging for cover, as ever.
Madness to keep living and pushing
When death is the only certitude
That we carry
Every step of the way…
But then
Madness is our savior
It keeps us afloat in the raging waters
Breathing, when our last breath has been broken and soiled
Yielding when all around us has stopped believing
Standing when all about us has dropped to their knees in despair
Striving when the brave hath given up their quest and turned their backs to the battle…
If madness is about striving, serving and not yielding
Searching, pushing on and never faltering
Then madmen we are !
And Blessed be the madness that has made of us
Simple mortals hidden under the cloak of unsung heroes
Simple beggars with the heart of untamed lions.
Fighters with nothing but our bare hands and hearts.
Madness is as ever the beginning of sanity as smoke is to fire
Carpe Diem
Thursday, January 19, 2006
0908031316 - dodoland
extract to the Stinger, stringer, side winger
0908031316 - dodoland
I'm cutting the bridge
see you back in dodoland.
piece of sand in the middle of the ocean,
Ocean of tears, ocean of fears
There where your chains await...
Will you learn to break them free this time
and breathe the air of freedom?
Like a breath taken too soon
Like an oath,
broken even before it was made,
Like the call of the wild,
tamed and canned and shelved
In the deepest recess of your heart
The window is open
Will you run, will you flee?
Or will you come back to your chains
And keep pulling to extend your reach of life?
Will you learn to take
More than is given to you
not like a beggar but an owner
Will you learn to breathe
There where your limit stands
then when you are out of breath
out from running away from any reason
Will you learn to fight
Then when the fight is over
even before you would have fired your shot
then when everyone else is backing out
Will you learn to give
Then when there is nothing left to give
But an oath, broken,
Even before it was spelt
Spat out hastily in the midst of a fight
Shot out of your sky you are panting and puffing
Out of breath, Out of faith
Asking yourself
If there are words to be read in between the lines
Eyes straining to see the meaning
There where there is none
You were right,
my heart belongs somewhere else.
It belongs to someone I've met
One day in the midst of my turmoil
One soul that was lost itself and seeking shelter from life
One soul that has crept into my life and made cosy
Rekindling the warmth in me
And now that soul is on the other side of the world,
Other side of the screen reading these very lines,
At this very moment...
Where time and space will freeze for a minute second
And listen to the chaos around
sing in symphony with the chaos inside...
And the blizzard will rise giving birth to a drop,
Tear drop, out of the blue, out of the mind
Rolls down her cheeks and flies through the air
Comes crashing heavily
Heavy from the pain that it conveys
Heavy from the joy it conveys
Not really knowing the meaning of its fall
Yet there is sense to what I write
Essence of my feelings for you
A sense to my living,
essence to my leaving
A direction to my quest.
We'll be walking the beaches,
staring at the horizon
Never hoping that another lies ahead
For I am and remain
The quiverer
Quiverin quiver full of darts
Out of sight
In the dark
Never hoping
Never willing
Yet ever so present
All for the same game
Insane at the blink of a thought
Blind to the mind, blind to the world
I'll be gone even before I ever came.
I was gone even before we ever met.
1901062311 - base
Yet upon thy return
dodoland ceased to be
for burnt to the roots it was
by news that came over the seas
that treason there had been
and reason, none was to be seen.
This was ever
the beginning of the end
as fire was to smoke.
carpe diem
The stingers' dart is under my skin.
0908031316 - dodoland
I'm cutting the bridge
see you back in dodoland.
piece of sand in the middle of the ocean,
Ocean of tears, ocean of fears
There where your chains await...
Will you learn to break them free this time
and breathe the air of freedom?
Like a breath taken too soon
Like an oath,
broken even before it was made,
Like the call of the wild,
tamed and canned and shelved
In the deepest recess of your heart
The window is open
Will you run, will you flee?
Or will you come back to your chains
And keep pulling to extend your reach of life?
Will you learn to take
More than is given to you
not like a beggar but an owner
Will you learn to breathe
There where your limit stands
then when you are out of breath
out from running away from any reason
Will you learn to fight
Then when the fight is over
even before you would have fired your shot
then when everyone else is backing out
Will you learn to give
Then when there is nothing left to give
But an oath, broken,
Even before it was spelt
Spat out hastily in the midst of a fight
Shot out of your sky you are panting and puffing
Out of breath, Out of faith
Asking yourself
If there are words to be read in between the lines
Eyes straining to see the meaning
There where there is none
You were right,
my heart belongs somewhere else.
It belongs to someone I've met
One day in the midst of my turmoil
One soul that was lost itself and seeking shelter from life
One soul that has crept into my life and made cosy
Rekindling the warmth in me
And now that soul is on the other side of the world,
Other side of the screen reading these very lines,
At this very moment...
Where time and space will freeze for a minute second
And listen to the chaos around
sing in symphony with the chaos inside...
And the blizzard will rise giving birth to a drop,
Tear drop, out of the blue, out of the mind
Rolls down her cheeks and flies through the air
Comes crashing heavily
Heavy from the pain that it conveys
Heavy from the joy it conveys
Not really knowing the meaning of its fall
Yet there is sense to what I write
Essence of my feelings for you
A sense to my living,
essence to my leaving
A direction to my quest.
We'll be walking the beaches,
staring at the horizon
Never hoping that another lies ahead
For I am and remain
The quiverer
Quiverin quiver full of darts
Out of sight
In the dark
Never hoping
Never willing
Yet ever so present
All for the same game
Insane at the blink of a thought
Blind to the mind, blind to the world
I'll be gone even before I ever came.
I was gone even before we ever met.
1901062311 - base
Yet upon thy return
dodoland ceased to be
for burnt to the roots it was
by news that came over the seas
that treason there had been
and reason, none was to be seen.
This was ever
the beginning of the end
as fire was to smoke.
carpe diem
The stingers' dart is under my skin.
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
starting over
"We can break the cycle - we can break the chain
We can start all over - in the new beginning...
We learn, we teach,
We share the myths,
the dream, the prayer
The notion that we can do better
Change our lives and paths
Create a new world
and
Start all over
Start all over
Start all over
Start all over
We need to make new symbols
Make new signs
Make a new language
With these we'll define the world
and
Start all over
Start all over
Start all over
Start all over ..."
-Tracy Chapman, 'start all over', New Beginning
We can start all over - in the new beginning...
We learn, we teach,
We share the myths,
the dream, the prayer
The notion that we can do better
Change our lives and paths
Create a new world
and
Start all over
Start all over
Start all over
Start all over
We need to make new symbols
Make new signs
Make a new language
With these we'll define the world
and
Start all over
Start all over
Start all over
Start all over ..."
-Tracy Chapman, 'start all over', New Beginning
Thursday, January 12, 2006
All these people have one thing in their mind:
get away from this island.
as if to escape an invisible aggressor
they wish to depart
saying there is no opportunity here
looking else where the grass seems greener.
All these people dreaming of a way out
thinking that they will get a better life somewhere else.
Many will find a path to their wishes
most will stay behind,
with a tinge of bitterness growing in their thoughts
for they would not have had what it takes
to get even to the starting point of their journey.
Then there are those who feel good here.
Those who have learnt to take what they have and be content with it.
Those who will adapt and survive and make do with little.
get away from this island.
as if to escape an invisible aggressor
they wish to depart
saying there is no opportunity here
looking else where the grass seems greener.
All these people dreaming of a way out
thinking that they will get a better life somewhere else.
Many will find a path to their wishes
most will stay behind,
with a tinge of bitterness growing in their thoughts
for they would not have had what it takes
to get even to the starting point of their journey.
Then there are those who feel good here.
Those who have learnt to take what they have and be content with it.
Those who will adapt and survive and make do with little.
Sunday, January 08, 2006
The Shadow
I am a shadow, Shallow.
Dark and silent I walk by your side,
Yet you never seem to see,
Where I am and who i am.
Step into the light,
‘N I disappear
I am an arrow
Eerie sparrow in the fashion of none,
Sharp and deadly
I tear through the air
Swift and silent
I strike,
like a spike,
There where you never wish,
There where you never will...
Feels like a sting
Like a stab from a knife…
…And I turn around
And the stab is into my back,
slack, no feedback,
counter attack, counters attract.
stinger under my breath
I am a NO-SIR,
Anti-conformist, marginal, irrational,
I sow the seeds of doubt into your mind.
And let it grow ‘n take over
that what is left of your esteem
that what is left of your self.
Pebble in your shoes,
Grain of sand into your eyes,
I disturb, I worry
Interfere and irritate.
Look into the mirror and I’m gone.
I am a provoker, challenger, antagonist
‘tis stronger than me
I move against the crowd
Against the trend, the current
And all the like
Endless battle leading to nowhere
So I fight, for a light,
For a life, for a right.
I am an illusion
Chimera
Hidden agenda
Fake image of myself
Imposter
What you see is just a mask
What I say is just a play
Play the same game
Insane
Leading to the hall
Of fame
All flame
Of eternity
Maturity
Idle sensitivity
What a shame, for the name
What a mess! Bless,
All in my fortress, stress,
Less and never else.
I am a child
Lost in my word, lost in my world
I’ve never learnt to grow
yet I’ve grown too fast
I walk the streets of shame
Barefooted
Bare-hearted, bear-hearted
I can see what you can’t
Hear what you don’t
Think what you won’t
And say what you haunt
I am the very gum under your boots
The very one behind your back
Slack
Stuck to your soul,
crushed by your ego
I stick to the stink
and remain the same.
Again, no fame nor flame,
Just a name, in the game, all solo, so low
In sorrow, far below,
I bow and retreat,
but never give up
For at the back of your mind
I am the very powder before the lead
The very hammer before the chisel
Set ablaze by the fury of the winds
I can take the blow and bow
Yet you never know
When I will come out
And what I will say, or play.
I am a breeze, Sleaze
Wind under your wings
I can make you rise
Ascend to the skies
And die.
And watch you fall
Twisting, turning
come screaming to the ground
And catch you down
At the very last moment.
Then when you thought I could never be
Then when you thought I could never see…
but I do ...
So this is my flaw.
I am a beggar
Begging in the streets
Please can you spare a piece
So I get something to eat
Fleet
Under my feet, heat
I can eat that what you spit
Split what you eat
I have no regrets,
no remorses ever,
You can shoot me in the back, black,
point blank into the white of me eyes.
aim into your sights and I'm gone
even before the feel of the trigger.
I am a dreamer
Wishful thinker,
rattle brain stinker
I wish for a land far beyond
Peaceful tranquility
Ease the gravity
and let me fall, free,
far below any of your expectations,
sordid incantations,
hymn to the sweet melancholy
that you spread with your smile gone astray
and your your tears, turned to tatters.
Yet I never fail or flail
And you never come or ever came
So I remain
The same
Eternal dreamer, weaver,
Beaver on the shores of your mind
Sitting on the edge
Wishing I were there
But I am not –
And you never made it
So I take a jump
from the hump in my mind
that was me fortress,
buttress to my ego
and i fall
Motion in a world of flow
Emotion in a world so slow…
Arrêt sur image.
les enfants sages
et les rois mages
ne sont que des images
sans paysages, enfantillages
Et je ressens les présages
Tout au bout de la page,
Avide, mémoire a la nage,
mon cœur ne connaît pas de rage
sage déception de l’enfant qui n’a plus d’age.
Et j ‘enrage
D’être l’ombre de ce que je devrais être.
I am a climber, fighter
Vertical weaver
I defy the laws of gravity,
Vertical insanity
And yet
When I get caught
I try to hang on
Just for another minute,
Minute second in thy dwell of time
And then
when all is about to unfold
I recoil and re-arm
Reach out and grab
and save myself
Only to cut the rope
Let loose of the braid
and fall
so the story never ends.
Catch me eyes and I’m gone.
Gravity kills.
Set free by the winds under your breath.
I am a loner
Endless forgiver
walking the dunes of life, my life
Lonely soul, endless agony, melancholy
Needless felony
I am the one to resent
when I stay, stray
The one you will miss when I’m gone.
I am the nightmare of those I touch
Distant dream of those I don’t
Yet I know,
That what they cannot see
That what they daunt
That what they don’t
Look into me eyes and I’m gone -without a blink.
YET
I am no traitor, betrayer, faithless sympathizer
I know your tears and play with your fears
Only to find
that I’ve cut the rope
And my life is gone
fallen
Into the blink of a moments illusion,
Disillusion.
I look into my soul
And I find
That the seeds of doubts have grown
Like the trees that will never wither
Ever so thick, Ever so high
That they touch the sky. –
Vanilla sky…
Unwind and release.
Like a teardrop
torn from a rock.
I watch my fall,
Flight
Out of sight
Freedom, in a world of flow
Like a sparrow
Shot from the cradle
I fall
Into the shallowness
Of my shadow.
I hit the ground - rebound
Gravity kills.
Yet I never die
I never flag
Yet I never fail
Or falter
For I live on in your mind
just for a little while
Just another mile
Just another tad!
The time for a whine.
Catch me thoughts and I’m gone.
So now
I am but a shadow, shallow
Living at the back of your mind
Like the remorse that I’ve never had
And you always will
And the doubts I‘ll ever breed
There’s no agony
Endless destiny.
Yet
I am not the phoenix
That you say you are
For unlike you
I do not kill and die –
sharia of the mind.
So I can be born again
I strive and fight
And save and survive
And live on.
I find faith there where you doubt
I find strength there where you give up
I stick to my word, there where you betray.
I take in, then when you resent…
Yet I am but a shadow.
Mellow, like that eerie sparrow
That you have killed twice
With the same stone.
and that's for you stinger,
whose dart lies under my skin
whose name i hall bear under my breath
and whose scent i shall carry
not unto my epitaph.
but me grave.
Dark and silent I walk by your side,
Yet you never seem to see,
Where I am and who i am.
Step into the light,
‘N I disappear
I am an arrow
Eerie sparrow in the fashion of none,
Sharp and deadly
I tear through the air
Swift and silent
I strike,
like a spike,
There where you never wish,
There where you never will...
Feels like a sting
Like a stab from a knife…
…And I turn around
And the stab is into my back,
slack, no feedback,
counter attack, counters attract.
stinger under my breath
I am a NO-SIR,
Anti-conformist, marginal, irrational,
I sow the seeds of doubt into your mind.
And let it grow ‘n take over
that what is left of your esteem
that what is left of your self.
Pebble in your shoes,
Grain of sand into your eyes,
I disturb, I worry
Interfere and irritate.
Look into the mirror and I’m gone.
I am a provoker, challenger, antagonist
‘tis stronger than me
I move against the crowd
Against the trend, the current
And all the like
Endless battle leading to nowhere
So I fight, for a light,
For a life, for a right.
I am an illusion
Chimera
Hidden agenda
Fake image of myself
Imposter
What you see is just a mask
What I say is just a play
Play the same game
Insane
Leading to the hall
Of fame
All flame
Of eternity
Maturity
Idle sensitivity
What a shame, for the name
What a mess! Bless,
All in my fortress, stress,
Less and never else.
I am a child
Lost in my word, lost in my world
I’ve never learnt to grow
yet I’ve grown too fast
I walk the streets of shame
Barefooted
Bare-hearted, bear-hearted
I can see what you can’t
Hear what you don’t
Think what you won’t
And say what you haunt
I am the very gum under your boots
The very one behind your back
Slack
Stuck to your soul,
crushed by your ego
I stick to the stink
and remain the same.
Again, no fame nor flame,
Just a name, in the game, all solo, so low
In sorrow, far below,
I bow and retreat,
but never give up
For at the back of your mind
I am the very powder before the lead
The very hammer before the chisel
Set ablaze by the fury of the winds
I can take the blow and bow
Yet you never know
When I will come out
And what I will say, or play.
I am a breeze, Sleaze
Wind under your wings
I can make you rise
Ascend to the skies
And die.
And watch you fall
Twisting, turning
come screaming to the ground
And catch you down
At the very last moment.
Then when you thought I could never be
Then when you thought I could never see…
but I do ...
So this is my flaw.
I am a beggar
Begging in the streets
Please can you spare a piece
So I get something to eat
Fleet
Under my feet, heat
I can eat that what you spit
Split what you eat
I have no regrets,
no remorses ever,
You can shoot me in the back, black,
point blank into the white of me eyes.
aim into your sights and I'm gone
even before the feel of the trigger.
I am a dreamer
Wishful thinker,
rattle brain stinker
I wish for a land far beyond
Peaceful tranquility
Ease the gravity
and let me fall, free,
far below any of your expectations,
sordid incantations,
hymn to the sweet melancholy
that you spread with your smile gone astray
and your your tears, turned to tatters.
Yet I never fail or flail
And you never come or ever came
So I remain
The same
Eternal dreamer, weaver,
Beaver on the shores of your mind
Sitting on the edge
Wishing I were there
But I am not –
And you never made it
So I take a jump
from the hump in my mind
that was me fortress,
buttress to my ego
and i fall
Motion in a world of flow
Emotion in a world so slow…
Arrêt sur image.
les enfants sages
et les rois mages
ne sont que des images
sans paysages, enfantillages
Et je ressens les présages
Tout au bout de la page,
Avide, mémoire a la nage,
mon cœur ne connaît pas de rage
sage déception de l’enfant qui n’a plus d’age.
Et j ‘enrage
D’être l’ombre de ce que je devrais être.
I am a climber, fighter
Vertical weaver
I defy the laws of gravity,
Vertical insanity
And yet
When I get caught
I try to hang on
Just for another minute,
Minute second in thy dwell of time
And then
when all is about to unfold
I recoil and re-arm
Reach out and grab
and save myself
Only to cut the rope
Let loose of the braid
and fall
so the story never ends.
Catch me eyes and I’m gone.
Gravity kills.
Set free by the winds under your breath.
I am a loner
Endless forgiver
walking the dunes of life, my life
Lonely soul, endless agony, melancholy
Needless felony
I am the one to resent
when I stay, stray
The one you will miss when I’m gone.
I am the nightmare of those I touch
Distant dream of those I don’t
Yet I know,
That what they cannot see
That what they daunt
That what they don’t
Look into me eyes and I’m gone -without a blink.
YET
I am no traitor, betrayer, faithless sympathizer
I know your tears and play with your fears
Only to find
that I’ve cut the rope
And my life is gone
fallen
Into the blink of a moments illusion,
Disillusion.
I look into my soul
And I find
That the seeds of doubts have grown
Like the trees that will never wither
Ever so thick, Ever so high
That they touch the sky. –
Vanilla sky…
Unwind and release.
Like a teardrop
torn from a rock.
I watch my fall,
Flight
Out of sight
Freedom, in a world of flow
Like a sparrow
Shot from the cradle
I fall
Into the shallowness
Of my shadow.
I hit the ground - rebound
Gravity kills.
Yet I never die
I never flag
Yet I never fail
Or falter
For I live on in your mind
just for a little while
Just another mile
Just another tad!
The time for a whine.
Catch me thoughts and I’m gone.
So now
I am but a shadow, shallow
Living at the back of your mind
Like the remorse that I’ve never had
And you always will
And the doubts I‘ll ever breed
There’s no agony
Endless destiny.
Yet
I am not the phoenix
That you say you are
For unlike you
I do not kill and die –
sharia of the mind.
So I can be born again
I strive and fight
And save and survive
And live on.
I find faith there where you doubt
I find strength there where you give up
I stick to my word, there where you betray.
I take in, then when you resent…
Yet I am but a shadow.
Mellow, like that eerie sparrow
That you have killed twice
With the same stone.
and that's for you stinger,
whose dart lies under my skin
whose name i hall bear under my breath
and whose scent i shall carry
not unto my epitaph.
but me grave.
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